If you surveyed the entire community of people who have blogs similar to mine, I would be willing to bet that more than 75% of them are women with children, hereafter known as “Mommy Bloggers”. Many of them are stay at home moms and a larger-than-the-national-average percentage home school. These women are a force to be reckoned with and that makes me a little nervous to post anything about them, but I have a few things I want to say.
First, let’s acknowledge that we both have things that we are jealous of in each others’ lives. I was able to decide to move to Mexico this year to have an adventure and now I’m deciding to move back to the United States and none of that is really a feasible possibility for you. I know there are great things about being single and I’m trying to enjoy them while I have the chance. Please don’t hold that against me.
On the other hand, you (not all, but many of you), don’t have to work a traditional 9-5 job to support yourself or your family and therefore can find time to write or go on social media or go to writing retreats during the day during the work week. I realize that you also usually have little ones to take care of and I am acutely aware of just how exhausting and all consuming that is, but still, I’m jealous of your non-traditional work schedule.
I’m sure both of us have days where we think the others’ life is probably so much easier, so let’s just up and admit that and leave it out there.
For those of you who do work outside the home and mother and blog, you must have a more evolved brain that needs less sleep than I do and I am, again, jealous and also a little bit in awe. Keep on keeping on, ladies.
But the most important thing I want to say to you is this: we both have things to say. Sometimes we even have things to say about the same topics! We live in the same world, even if the way we spend our time in it is very different. So when you want to blog about women’s rights or theology or how to make a ten foot chalkboard for your bathroom decor or the best potty training method you’ve found so far, go for it. I don’t expect you to be the most expert in your field (hello, this is the internet) and if you write well and support your point well, I’ll gladly listen to what you have to say and engage with it (or really, if you’re blogging about potty training, I probably won’t. But that’s not a comment on your writing abilities, really). Please don’t feel limited to blogging about potty training, but please don’t exclude me from your reading lists and blog circles because I never do.
All I ask in return is the same courtesy be given to me. I won’t be blogging about husbands and children because I’m not a wife or a mom, but I will be blogging about women in the church and faith and language and what I’m learning and maybe even the occasional casserole. Don’t write me off because I’m young and single. I’m sure in 20 years I’ll look back at these posts and laugh at how naive I was, but I imagine you’ll have the same experience.
And lastly, let’s be friends. There’s that video going around about how moms with kids can’t be good friends to their single or married-without-kids friends and I’m sure there’s some truth to that, but let’s be better than that. I’m willing to come and sit in your messy kitchen and play with your kids so we can chat. In fact, I’m going to start coming over uninvited if you don’t get over the mess in the kitchen and invite me (don’t worry, my kitchen’s a disaster too). Or if we’re just virtual friends, let’s prove that mommy bloggers can be friends with and engage and love their single lady blogger counterparts. I visit your blogs (there are LOTS of you) and share them and comment on them. Find some single lady bloggers (or their unicorn-rare counterpart, single dude bloggers) to follow and support back.
I think we can learn from each other and I think the body of Christ needs both of us. Let’s get over our labels and just be in this together, because I could use your advice on a few things.