Dear Not-Best-Friend, This One’s For You

Dear Not-Best-Friend,

First of all, I love you so, so much. I don’t know how it ended up that we were not-best-friends after all of these years, but at best you’re “one of my best friends” and I know I’m the same to you. I was thinking about that and about you this week, and I decided I’m thankful that we’re not-best-friends.

I am so comfortable with you. We can talk about poop and wear each others’ clothes and chat for hours, but there’s no pressure. If we’re in the same place and we don’t hang out for several days, no one is mad. If we’re far apart and we lose touch for a bit, no one feels slighted and we pick back up where we left off whenever we need each other.

We don’t like all the same things and we’re not the same person, but when you put your music on the speakers it still makes me want to dance.

I think you remind me that there is other music to dance to (metaphorically). I love sharing enough of my life with you to be totally myself around you, but being different enough that you introduce me to new things and new ways of thinking.

There are all those Buzzfeed articles about 23 Things That Are So Totally True About You and Your BFF or 11 Reasons You and Your Long-Distance Best Friend are Soulmates or 199 GIFS About Friendship and Catchy Captions (especially #11 and #82!). They don’t have any about the best things about having a not-best-friend, but if they did this is what it would say (because based on those titles CLEARLY I should be working for Buzzfeed).


The 5 Best Things About Having a NBF (Not-Best-Friend):

1. No pressure.

Being best friends with someone is always awkward because what if one of you decides they have ANOTHER best friend? This is just a casual NBF thing. It’s like being in the friend zone, but literally.

2. She Introduces you to new ideas.

While you and your best friend can finish each other’s (sandwiches) sentences, you also probably think the same thing about just about everything. That’s great if you don’t ever plan on making any other friends, but your NBF can be a friendly way of expanding your horizons.

3. It’s totally mutual.

By definition, NBF-ship has to be mutual. If one of us somehow decided the other was her very best friend (not gonna happen), then we’d be in uncharted territory. But while we’re both NBFs, we know exactly what to expect from each other.

4. Backup.

She may be your NBF, but she’s always got your back. She’s the perfect wingman or retreat plan and she knows you well enough to know which one you need.

5. Consistency.

It’s hard to ruin a relationship with a NBF, because you’re already close friends and know each other well, but you don’t expect more. You can pick up where you left off no matter how long it’s been. Once a NBF, always a NBF. (Maybe you should be my best friend).


All that to say, I’m here when you need me (or if you just have a funny picture message to send). Love you and can’t wait til we’re in the same place again sometime soon.


Your NBF

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